Church, State, and What's the Difference, Anyway?

So, back to the Boyd K. Packer BS on the Weber State University campus.  Here's the deal, in case you missed it.   Well, it turns out the husband (Jared Lisonbee) of the woman (Shairylann Lisonbee, whose parents should be smacked for that spelling) whose letter to the editor first clued me on this freakshow travesty used to be an associate/assistant professor in the very department where this mess is going down.  

Yes, that's an awkward paragraph, but the operative phrase there?  "Used to be."

That's right--he was the only person on staff to raise objections, and now he's out of a job--or will be, once his contract is up.  That's right, Weber chose not to renew, and gave no reason for their decision.  

Now, those Utah-type folks might argue "Oh, it's a coincidence" or "it's got nothing to do with the church or the Packers-decision" or (and most likely, as this is the way this sort of thing so often goes down) "he was let go for unrelated performance issues."  And maybe that's true.  Maybe there's no connection whatsoever.  One thing, though--he was told that he and Weber State just might not be a "good fit."

Hmm.  I've heard those words.  From a staff member teaching in that very building.  I blogged about it HERE months ago.

Here's the scoop on the Lisonbee family and Weber State as it arrived in my email box last night:

On May 6th, Shairylann Lisonbee wrote a letter to the editor, concerning the naming of a family outreach center at Weber State University after LDS Apostle Boyd K. Packer. She suggested that this was a bad idea, since the center was at a public university, and was intended to serve a diverse set of families in the community. The name was problematic because Brother Packer has forcefully spoken out against interracial and homosexual families in the past. It is possible to respect Boyd K. Packer as a person, and as a religious leader, without believing that it is a good idea to put his name on a family outreach center at a public university, given his past statements and views that oppose the loving families of so many.

Inspired by her letter, I wrote my first change.org petition about this issue, borrowing many of her thoughts on the matter. The petition currently has 2,316 signatures. https://www.change.org/petitions/weber-state-university-do-not-name-your-center-for-family-cfce-after-boyd-k-packer.

Shairylann's husband is on the faculty at Weber State University in the College of Education where the Packer Center is housed. When the name of the center was first announced, Jared Lisonbee suggested that naming the center after Brother Packer would alienate many of the very families that the center was intended to serve. He was the only member of the faculty at the meeting to express such obvious concerns.

It has recently come to my attention that Jared has now been removed from his position at the University, and all indications are that his removal was a result of his opposition to the naming of the family center, and of his wife's letter to the editor, and the resulting petition. I believe that this is a morally reprehensible action. If dissenting voices cannot even be heard at a public university, for fear of retaliation that might cost the person their job, then how can an open and free dialogue on the issues be maintained? I believe that this is a severe miscarriage of justice, and, if things are as they strongly appear, this is an apparent attempt by an individual to impose their vision of a harmful and hurtful religious orthodoxy on others at what is supposed to be a public university.

With permission, I would like to quote the letter Shairylann wrote with her initial reaction to the firing of her husband:

"I'm in shock. My husband just lost his job over the naming of the Boyd K. Packer center at Weber State University. He is an assistant professor at Weber in the College of Education - the college responsible for the Packer center. Last year in the faculty meeting where the name for the family center was announced, he was THE ONLY person who protested the naming, mentioning that Packer was not viewed as friendly toward gays, academicians, feminists, and interracial couples. Since then, his department chair became increasingly hostile, making off-handed comments toward him like "You know, Weber State is not a good fit for everyone." On May 6th I wrote my letter to the editor that was published, criticizing naming the Weber's family center after Boyd K. Packer. I shouldn't have. Yesterday, out of the blue, my husband received a letter telling him that his contract would not be renewed, giving no reasons for the decision. It is so obviously related to our opposition to the naming of the Packer Center, but I doubt we could ever prove it. He is going to talk to people today about making a possible case for religious discrimination, but I'm sure we our going to be jobless in the end, and he will have an ugly professional strike against him. I hate that there is no real protection from the church in this state."

Obviously I am very unhappy with what has happened here, and I also feel somewhat responsible, because I am the one that took her original letter to the editor, and turned it into a petition, that eventually ended up in the news, and that produced some bad press for Weber State, a result that may have partially motivated these reprehensible actions. Nevertheless, I feel like we have done the right thing here, despite the price that some have been forced to pay for speaking up.

I would encourage everyone here to again take up the petition, and pass it around among all of your friends and family. Letting the faculty and administrators at Weber State know that there really are a large number of people who oppose their actions and decisions on this matter.

Please pass this on to those that you know, and spread the word.

Thank you,

James L. Carroll

What can I say?  I'm not proud of my Alma Mater right now.  Canning someone for expressing a dissenting view?  That might fit in with the Boyd K. Packer world view, but that's utterly unacceptable for a PUBLICLY FUNDED institution of higher learning in the United States.  If that's what happened, if Mr. Lisonbee was left jobless because he and his wife disagreed with a highly questionable decision, then, my old school shames itself, and shames the rest of us by association.  Come on, be a state university--Utah already has a BYU.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of the above disaster, I have friends who work for Weber State University.  They are being vocal and amazingly brave (let's face it, it's scary speaking out against an organization that, allegedly, fired someone for speaking out), and I'm very proud of them.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of the Mormon Church and the endless twisting and melding of church and state in Utah, this meme/picture came sliding across my Facebook wall today:

A beautiful picture, no question about it.  It's gone viral, no telling who took it or when.  And if it doesn't strike terror in your heart, I don't know what will.  This came scudding through with a quote from that atrocious Lee Greenwood song--you know, "Proud to Be an American?"  The picture-perfect melding of church and state here--the clear implication that church IS state.  The sick forwarding of the idea that to be patriotic is to be religious and vice versa.  This picture, in all its technical and compositional beauty, is a nightmare.

Note some of the comments.  Especially the last one which, I can only hope, is satire. Other than "sobering," the rest of these comments strike me as something straight out of an SNL skit.  

Hooah, indeed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And, since I have you right there on religion, let's talk about parents who use religion as a bludgeon to guilt, condemn, and terrorize a gay child, all under the guise of loving support and . . . garbage.  Here, read this:

Just Because He Breathes

My 15 year old said he doesn't pity this woman, but I do.  I pity her the same way I pity anyone who does awful, stupid things and later comes to regret them, but not in time to stave off tragedy.  But the sad reality is that this boy had every ounce of self-love, self-confidence, joy, self-acceptance, and surety of love bludgeoned out of him by Bible-wielding parents.  Reason 5,678 why mythology sucks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, speaking of crappy things parents do to their kids?  If you name your child "Whiskey Chance," (that's first and middle), don't be surprised when he winds up in jail.  Seriously, are you stupid?  How did you THINK that was going to turn out?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that's it for today.  Here, have something visually stimulating:

Oh, and I apologize for the crappy formatting here today.  Sometimes Blogger just decides to go with its gut feelings and disregard any pesky alignment decisions I make.  Can't wait to see what it's done with the font.  

Oklahoma Joe's BBQ in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma--would you like a side of bigotry with those ribs?

As you almost certainly know, I'm an atheist.  My husband is an atheist, and my teenage son is an atheist.  It has been our boy's dream for years to attend a Camp Quest, which is a secular camp that stresses science and adventure.  No indoctrination.  ALL are welcome, including kids who do believe but whose parents don't want to send them to a "church" camp.  This year marks the first year we've been able to swing it.

There are a number of Camp Quests serving different areas.  Last night, it came to my attention that one Camp Quest--Camp Quest Oklahoma--had planned a tuition fundraiser at a BBQ joint in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.

Oklahoma Joe's BBQ, in fact.  Now, don't mistake it for Oklahoma Joe's BBQ in Kansas City--yes, there is a link there, but until we know WHAT the link is, we don't want to slam the Kansas City folks--they likely have nothing to do with it, they may not agree at all with the Broken Arrow location.

Agree with what?

There's where it gets ugly.

You see, OK Joe's was approached by the Camp Quest OK folks about setting up this fundraiser.  The folks at Joe's were given all the usual information, the business cards, the camp brochures, the regular business information.  Understand, all these things include the words "Secular" or "Humanist" or "Free-Thinker."  You know, ATHEISTS.  OK Joe's okayed the fundraiser, in which ten percent of proceeds from the night would be kicked back to Camp Quest to pay for kids whose families can't afford camp tuition. All folks had to do was present the flyer and there you go--10% goes to the kids who need tuition assistance.

Nice, huh?

Here's the final flyer, which was approved by Joe of OK Joe's BBQ:

Notice the words "Free Thought" and "Humanist Values."

Again, this flyer was approved by Oklahoma Joe's BBQ.  There is no attempt to HIDE the purpose of this camp or the "ideology" behind it.  It is absolutely clear what this camp is, what it does, and who it appeals to.

All seemed great until the night of the fundraiser.  The Camp Quest OK folks were there, their materials and such set up, when someone from OK Joe's approached and asked to speak to one of the Camp Quest folks outside.  At this point, an hour into the four hour fundraiser, there were already donors inside, eating.  A few, in fact, had already eaten and left.  You know, their "ten percent goes to the camp" BBQ meals?  Some had already posted happy pics to Facebook, showing their fundraising BBQ feast.

And what did this someone representing OK Joe's BBQ have to say?

To paraphrase, he appears to have said, "This is against our Christian values.  We won't give money to your cause.  You need to leave."

They then put a notice in the business' door, claiming that Camp Quest had not "fully disclosed" their religious whatever-the-hell.  Here it is:

Seeming translation?  "We'll let the dirty atheists eat here, but we won't honor our agreement and support kids needing help with camp tuition, even though we said we would."

Now, the spokesman from Oklahoma Joe's BBQ has done quite a bit of fancy dancing since things blew up, claiming he never asked folks to leave (according to those he spoke to, he did--he asked the folks representing Camp Quest to take down their materials and leave), claiming that he just told them that OK Joe's won't donate the 10% of fundraiser sales to their cause.

After Ok Joe's had agreed to do so.

I'm left wondering--are they just so stupid that they don't understand what "Secular," "Humanist," "Free Thinking," "Critical Thinking" and "Scientific Inquiry" mean?  I mean, I suppose that's possible, though that still makes them losers who don't honor their agreements, whose word isn't worth squat.  Or are they the kinds of creeps who were hoping to drum up the Christian customer base by abusing some atheists?

My money's on the former, but either way, I can't imagine eating there.  Place left a bunch of kids in the lurch and went back on their word because they find someone else's ideology repugnant.

Imagine, if you will, that this was a group of Jewish kids fundraising for the local Synagogue's summer program.  Or a bunch of Mormon kids for their mission funds.  Imagine the outcry if this man and this business waited until an event was underway, then told the organizers, "No, you didn't fully disclose your beliefs, and I don't like your beliefs, so you need to take down your materials and go--deal's off."

Would you stand for it?  Would you support it?  I sure as hell wouldn't.  If a business pulled a stunt like this with Jews, Mormons, Muslims, or Catholics, I'd be RIGHT there, shouting.  Because this is crap, regardless of who the victim is.

Here's a link to the camp's site:

Oh, and if you're thinking of visiting Oklahoma Joe's Facebook page?  Don't--after scrambling wildly to pull any posts on the subject, they pulled down the page.  There are still ways to contact them, I'm sure, but the Facebook route has gone the way of the coward.

And that's all for this entry.  Grass seeds watered, chicken in the oven, and I'm outta here.

******Update*******

Word is Oklahoma Joe's BBQ now claims that the dirty atheists were pushing their dirty atheist materials on the poor, innocent folks in the restaurant. No, not the terms they used, but certainly the tone.  This is new, they just added this BS to the already BS story.  Witnesses say that's not true (though time will tell if certain types will leap up and mouth the lie).  So we have breaking the contract/agreement, screwing little kids out of their camp tuition, lying about asking people to leave, lying about whether or not they were told this was a secular/humanist camp, and lying about "atheist prosthelytizing."  Oh, and mass deleting comments from OK Joe's Facebook page before giving up and just pulling the page.

It's probably a good thing for Ok Joe's that there's not really a heaven . . . or hell.

Do not reprint without permission. © KAQ

Devastation Deepening

If you read my previous post, you'll know that I was concerned at having "outed" my family as atheists to our son's best friend. For the sake of clarity, let's call that friend Armen.

I was right to be worried.

Oh, Armen quite glibly "accepted" our atheism, didn't seem at all fazed. Spent the rest of the night laughing and having a seemingly great time with our boy. But he left before 7 am, claiming that, because it was Father's Day, he wanted to be home early. I knew. The moment I came downstairs to find him gone, I knew. But our boy wasn't concerned, said everything seemed just fine.

Everything wasn't fine. In fact, our boy's "best friend" has completely ditched him. Our boy kept trying to hang with him, and Armen kept offering up glib, smiling lies and BS promises. Things like, "Oh, I can't, I'm grounded today, but maybe tomorrow!" Then, twenty minutes later, we see him down the street, hanging with other kids. "I'll come over later this afternoon." Of course, he doesn't. Instead, he goes across the street to hang with the psychopathic, small-animal-killing kids because he knows our boy isn't allowed in that house. To our son's credit, he kept trying, kept giving Armen the benefit of the doubt. But after a week, even he knew.

I did this. By ADMITTING our atheism, I blasted our son's social life to bits. I try not to blame myself, I try to turn it around--if we were CATHOLIC or JEWISH and received this sort of treatment, the world would rise up and condemn this kid for his blatant bigotry. Sadly, we live in a nation that, according to recent polls, holds CHILD RAPISTS in higher esteem than atheists.

CHILD RAPISTS!

Republicans in this country are more likely to want a Muslim in the White House than an Atheist. Now, I don't have a problem with a Muslim in the White House, but let's be honest--the right has a mighty impressive stiffy against Islam. And yet, even Islam is preferable to atheism in their eyes.

It gets worse--you see, a couple of weeks earlier, our boy spent the night at another friend's house. While there, he was cornered by the friend's mother, who wanted to know what church we go to. Our boy was honest--he said we don't go to any church. That was pretty much the last time that friend and our boy hung out. And just night before last, our boy stayed over at another friend's--a mutual friend of Armen's. Mutual friend cornered our son, demanding to know what religion he is. I suppose it's a tribute to our parenting that our boy can't just "lie on the fly," he doesn't know how to fashion BS effortlessly, so he answered honestly. He said he's an atheist. Mutual friend's younger brother said, "We're atheists, too." Mutual friend became very upset, said that they are NOT atheists!

I fear that friendship is now toast, too. I was already concerned--see, the night before, Armen had hidden at the mutual friend's house, while mutual friend lied to our boy and said he wasn't there. Even though we'd watched him go in and, a few minutes after, sneak back out. And I mean SNEAK--he actually ducked down behind bushes and crawled behind a truck. All to hide from the evil atheists.

I’m not just heartbroken and hurt for our boy. No, I'm also scared. Deeply frightened. Understand that people HURT atheists. They do. Not everywhere--gosh, no, in civilized Western nations, atheists are accepted and make up a sizeable chunk of the population. Canada, England, France, etc.? Loaded with atheists who work, live, love just like everyone else. But not here. No, not in America, the Land of the Free. No, here we are despised. I think it's an intellect thing--as a nation, we're increasingly lacking.

So I'm afraid. What we have here is a social group made up of a ten-year-old violent, foul-mouthed, scary-type liar (dangerous lies like "so-and-so hit me with a bat") who steals and kills small animals; The psychopath's twin brother, who is a pale, weak version of his crazy-assed sibling; a glib, cowardly 13 year-old bigot who lies freely, lacks the courage required for honesty, and spends his time doing the bidding of the psychopathic 10 year-olds, and a 13 year old who, while not taking part in the games, dropped our boy like a hot potato the instant we failed the "what church do you go to" test.

A scary group. A group that, between the violent psychopaths and the suck-up, two-faced true believer, could conceivably decide to do our child harm because of his atheism. Don't tell me I'm being paranoid--look at the news. Kids pouring alcohol on other kids and setting them ablaze. Kids shooting other kids. Kids beating other kids. Hell, there have been cases of kids forcibly sodomizing other kids with sticks.

Sticks.

And these crimes are committed over things as trivial as movie tickets or teenage flirtation gone awry. Imagine what kids might do to an atheist? What they might do to someone who ranks lower on the social totem pole than a CHILD RAPIST.

Know what REALLY sticks in my craw? The idea that these kids think they're better than us, more MORAL than us. The psychopaths? Their mother and Armen's father? Drug buddies from days of old. Armen's father? I only know what he looks like because I've seen his MUG SHOT online. Drugs. Armen's mother? I've seen her mug shot, too--prostitution and drugs. His older sister?  Junkie with mug shots.  His older brother? I've seen HIS mug shot--a junkie on his way to prison for felony burglary.  But WE'RE immoral.

We are clean. Our home is clean. We are kind. We do not lie about our neighbors, we do not lie to our friends. We do not do drugs, we are not given to drunkenness, we do not break the law. We are gentle with animals, and we are caring with other people. Most importantly, we do not discriminate against others based upon their religion. Yet WE are immoral.

I fear for our son. I fear for us. I am afraid that someone will call our landlord and fill him in on our evil ways, and he will, as a result, choose not to extend our lease. I am afraid that we will be the victims of vandalism or worse. Through all of this, I keep coming back to one thing: I should have kept my mouth shut. I can take the pressure, but our boy? Our poor, 14 year-old boy? Maybe for him, it would have been better to be silent and okay than loud, proud, and despised.

The World Eats Children

I was reading the local paper yesterday morning (the online version to save the trees, of course). As per usual, I hit the obits second (front page comes first). I’ve always been drawn to the obituaries, just as I’ve always felt myself attracted to cemeteries. The last, usually loving tributes to folks who aren’t anymore. It’s beautiful, but beyond that, it often brings with it a wave of “what ifs.” You know—“what if I died, what would Tom put in my obit?” and “What if that was my mother, what would I say about her?”

Yesterday, it was “What if my 12 year old child who loved playing guitar and dreamed of traveling had committed suicide?”

Oh, damn. What if? What if it was my beautiful child, my heart, his life tapped out in a few dozen lines on an obit page? What if the world chewed up my boy and spat him out broken?

I look back on all the things my parents didn’t discuss with me. Suicide, drugs, alcohol, sex, violence, bullying, peer pressure, devastating depression—all of which were a big part of my growing up. I shambled through my childhood, completely lost. I was lucky in that most of my friends were good ones. Maybe not moral compasses, but certainly not wells of depravity, either. I was lucky that, with one notable exception, they all cared about my welfare, even if the stick they used to measure good from bad wasn’t quite in keeping with society’s norms. Or “nerms,” as we used to say.

They say the world is what we make it. If that’s true, we’re breathtakingly broken. I sit down and I talk about suicide, meth, and teen pregnancy with my 12 year old and my brain screams, “WHY? Why does he have to know this stuff at 12 years old? What is WRONG with us, that we’ve created a world where 12 year olds are getting other 12 year olds pregnant and 13 year olds are bullying their classmates to DEATH?”

Why do I have to explain to my child that poking at people who are different, whether it be skin color or sexual orientation, is a bad thing? Shouldn’t we, as a society, already know that? Shouldn’t that be a given? It’s 2010—how can racism or bigotry still be an issue? Aren’t we smarter than that?

And am I part of the problem because I’m making my child aware? I told him about auto-erotic asphyxiation and “huffing” when he was NINE, because other NINE year olds were doing it—and DYING. How jacked up is that? How terrible?

And if you think all THAT'S bad, imagine being a child in Gaza? Haiti? Thailand?

I don’t have a point here. I’m railing against a messed up world that eats people. That eats children. And my heart is thrumming and mind is buzzing with fear because maybe our love and our lectures and our watchful eyes just aren’t enough. That child in yesterday’s paper? Her parents loved her, too. She was their heart. They watched and guided and adored.

And the world got her anyway.