Scattered About

So, our boy is at camp--we brought him up last weekend, we'll pick him up this weekend.  Got an email from the camp folks, saying that, while the rest of the area has no water, the camp still does. Already feeling bad that our boy is at camp during record-breaking heat, though happy I chose for him to be in a cabin rather than tent--the cabins are air-conditioned!

Miss him terribly.  Hope he's having a wonderful time.  Hope they know how to keep him safe in this heat.

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Hubby picked our first cuke today--it's beautiful!

Tasted wonderful!

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Watched a horrifyingly bad movie last night--"Attila" with Gerard Butler as the mighty Hun, Powers Boothe as the Shifty yet strangely noble Roman who . . . well, I won't tell you.  Wouldn't want to give it away.  Such a masterpiece of historical inaccuracy, you're sure to pick it up unless I spoil it for you.  As Mr. Munchkin Troll 2 will rush to let you know in his snotty, humorless, dull-wit way, the world hates a "spoiler."

Yes, that's Alice Krige.  A very young Isla Fisher is featured, too.

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 The class reunion I won't be attending but somehow wound up a committee member?  Disaster, I'm thinking.  The folks doing the "real" work chose a venue so expensive that most of our classmates can't afford it.  Sure, the fancy steak house with the DJ is nice, but most folks need a cheaper option.  22 days out, and only SIX have bought tickets.  There will be a cheap "appetizers only/cash bar" get together the night before, and I'm thinking that's going to be the only draw.  Can't put all the blame on the mostly "haves" who set it all up--had our class officers stepped up and done what they're supposed to do, the rest of us wouldn't have had to blunder in and try to set something up months too late.  If folks'd had more than a few months warning, they might have been able to scrape together the cash.  

Sad days.

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So, our internet crashed for over 12 hours the other night/morning. Lucky us, we can do the whole "mobile hotspot" gig.  Not so lucky?  Our boy didn't realize that eats up data like a piranha eats errant livestock in an old Wild Kingdom installment.  Not understanding the data gig, he went to sleep without turning off the mobile hotspot.  Which catapulted us to 92% of our monthly plan allowance with two weeks still to go.  Hubby called them today,and they agreed to set us up to the next data level for this month, then set us back down at no charge.  Very nice.  Now, let's see if it actually WORKS that way.  

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I'm working on a Zimmerman/Trayvon entry.  Not tonight, though.  I have a dental-related face ache.  

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Caught a bit of the 700 Club the other day.  Listened to Pat Robertson blather on about how "you can't outgive GAWD," but that the solution to bankruptcy is to TITHE.

I kid you not.

Remember that--if you can't make your bills, if you're underwater, struggling, foreclosed upon, just SEND CASH TO PAT ROBERTSON!  Really, because GAWD'll give back "30,60, and 100 fold!"

I'm reminded of when I once worked for "the largest telemarketing firm in the world."  We used to take calls for some now-deceased player, went by the name "The Reverend Ike."  

Now, many years ago, the Reverend Ike was sending out "prayer cows."  Yes, that's what I said. Little fuzzy cardboard holsteins. The point was something like this:  make a call, get a cow (and an envelope full of utterly nutty religious crap), sleep with the cow under your pillow while you pray about your money problems.  Then send the cow back with YOUR MONEY and some ghostie in the sky will return your investment however many fold.

Or instead, you could write your name and prayer on the included "prayer seeds" and "plant" them by mailing them back with twenty bucks (or more) every week for a few weeks until your prayer came true.

Or you could just call and give your money that way, and screw the cash cow and prayer seeds.  

We'd sit on break and compare the calls.  The horror, the heartbreak.  And finally, one night, I broke.  An old woman called and went on and on about how she was putting her trust in the LAWD and REV'REND IKE, utilities be damned!  She was crying, THANKING ME for the opportunity to "do the LAWD'S will." She just KNEW that, by giving the only money she had, the money for her LIGHTS and HEAT, she'd be rewarded.

I was nearly in tears as I made that decision.  The decision to risk my job and stop this poor, deluded woman from freezing to death in the dark.  And yeah, had there been a monitor on the line or a supervisor nearby, I'd have been escorted from the building.

I talked her out of it.  I convinced her that "God" had already given her the money to pay her utilities, and that it would be wrong to NOT do that. 

I had my own "prayer cow."  Wish I knew where it was, I'd love to post a pic.

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And finally . . . Ever been totally haunted by something? Years ago, Hubby and I were out for breakfast with my family when I spotted a guy. A handsome young man, scruffy jaw, sun-browned, green/hazel eyes, hair a very light brown/dark blond, sun-streaked. He had a backpack, and he looked so incredibly familiar, I couldn't take my eyes off him. As he was leaving, he smiled and said hello to me, and I said, "I am so sorry, I know I've been staring--you are so familiar to me, have we met?" He said no, he didn't think so, he wasn't local. Just passing through.  He seemed a little uncomfortable once I said he looked familiar, though he was still very friendly and quick to flash that marvelous smile. I wished him safe, happy travels and obsessed for days. And then I remembered where I'd seen his face before. 

A missing child poster. 

I went nuts searching online until I found his picture. Was it him? I don't know--the age would have been about right, and he looked just like this boy. I didn't notice anything off about his jaw, but he had a scruffy sort of stubble going on. I called about him, reported the possible sighting, but I still don't know if it was him. I wish I'd remembered at the time why he rang bells for me, I'd have known to ask more questions, pay closer attention.

Patrick Shawn Betz

And age-progressed:

Wombats, RIC, and Just Plain Mean

So, I came across a Facebook post/meme today.  A picture of a heavy black woman dressed in tight, rather garish attire.  A lot of spilling over and the like.  And the challenge was to describe the picture in one word.  You can imagine the words.

Ho
Crackho
Slut
Hideous
Disgusting
Vomit
Sickening
Die
Obamanation
WTF
Cellulite
Hefty
Horrible
Thick
Yuck
Welfare Ho
Ijustthrewupinmymouth

That's just a small sampling of the hundreds of responses.  Me?  I added a word to the list, too.

BULLIES.

Again, how do we stop our kids from torturing other human beings for their looks or their gender or their sexual orientation or their race when we consider this sort of cruel attack FUN?

That reminds me--there's an upcoming event in DC that's near and dear to my heart.  I don't know if we'll go, I'm not really the sign-waving political demonstration type these days, I'm more the "sway 'em with words" kind of person, but I may make an exception here.  It's important.

20th Annual March/Demonstration Against Infant Circumcision

Routine infant circumcision is down dramatically in the United States, and 18 states now refuse to cover it under Medicaid.  We are the ONLY country in the west that routinely circumcises boys for non-religious reasons, and our rate of HIV and Penile Cancer (the diseases allegedly prevented by circumcision) is markedly higher than in like countries that don't practice routine infant circumcision.  Parents who circumcise "so he'll fit in" are actually wrong--in most parts of the US, the majority of infants are now NOT circumcised.  In addition, I'm not sure taking sharp objects to a baby's genitals is a good way to handle locker-room peeping.  I don't want to get all intense here, so I'll leave it at this.  To folks who say "it's a personal decision," I say this--I agree with you.  It IS a personal decision.  So personal that I propose it be left to the owner of the genitals in question.  After all, agony and risk aside, it's the permanent altering of another human being's body for largely cosmetic purposes. It forever changes the structure and function of the body part, and not, according to reports, for the better.  That's big.  That's huge.  That needs to be a choice made by a man, not a choice made FOR him when he's too young to understand what's being proposed.

And that's all I have to say about that.  Just remember--all those "hot" Brit movie stars you think are so sexy?  Dollars to donuts, pretty much every one of them is intact.  Food for thought.

Speaking of food (see how I did that?), we're having fajitas with beans and rice for dinner.  It's so easy to make that without a zillion calories or carbs.  It's one of my "I'm starving, I need a LOT of food" meals that doesn't break the calorie or carb bank.  We use Kontos Lavash instead of tortillas because the calories and carbs are lower than most tortillas (and the taste quite nice), fat-free sour cream, and weigh the chicken.  A lot of onions and bell peppers, too.  We mix in peppers and just a little bit of corn with the low sodium black beans.  We give a nod to processed food by having Uncle Ben's Spanish Rice.  One package is two decent-sized servings, and it does the job nicely.  Dessert will probably just be a banana.  I'm not in the mood for more, I don't think.

My WiFi has been punking off lately.  Not enough to keep me offline, just enough to be really, really irritating.  Normally, just clicking on the little red X runs it through some hoops and brings it back, but yesterday there was no joy, so I clicked on "Troubleshoot."  Only to be met with the admonition that I would need an INTERNET CONNECTION to continue.  That's right, the only way to troubleshoot my lack of an internet connection is to ACCESS THE INTERNET.

Thanks, Verizon.  Love you.

To be fair, I DO mostly like Verizon.  Except when the bill comes due every month.  Three cell phones, one tablet, cable, landline, and WiFi/internet?   Wowser.  The tablet's contract is up this month, and we'll be letting it scroll off and use it solely WiFi.  That'll knock 45 bucks or so off the bill.

 So, our boy, who takes interminable baths, was dragging another one out to two hours or so yesterday.  When I finally shouted up the stairs, he called back, "I'm drying off!"

Half an hour later, still no boy.  I moved to give another shout, and hubby said, "He said he was drying off."  I said, "That was half an hour ago!"  And hubby's response?

"Maybe he's really, really wet."

If I take a superbly luxurious bath, I might take 30 minutes, tops.  Hubby?  I've known him to hide in that tub for 4+ hours, just letting out the cooling water and adding more warm as the time ticks away.  It's amazing to me, but it's no mystery where our boy gets his mad bathing skills from.

Now, you see that sentence up there?  The " . . . it's no mystery where our boy gets his mad bathing skills from"  bit?  Help me out--I wanted to write that " . . . it's no mystery from where our boy gets his mad bathing skills."  In fact, what I really wanted to write was, ". . . it's no mystery whence our boy gets his mad bathing skills."  Am I the only person here who actually agonizes over things like that?

Am I geek?  A grammar wonk?

Oh, oh!  I forgot, I found something!  And I'm a bit upset, actually.  Why didn't anyone ever tell me how incredibly cute WOMBATS are!  Holy cow, they're adorable!  I want three!

Here--have a wombat.  A wombat named Douglas, in fact:




Do not reprint without permission. © KAQ

Messy Day Gone Better

So, we had decided to cancel my phone once the contract period was up.  Good way to save 50 bucks a month.  After all, I don't often use it, and it seems silly to keep it.  No, I don't WANT to cancel it, but we need to save cash where we can.

So, hubby warns me that my Christmas is coming, and that I'll need to sign for it but not even look at it a little bit.  No checking the return address, nothing.  He says it's coming tomorrow.  Okay, I agree.  I won't look.  I plan on warning our boy not to look, either.

Except it came today.  And we are expecting other things.  Our boy opened it.  And found two brand new Droid Razrs.  Hubby decided me without a phone isn't good, and we'll just let the Galaxy Tab's contract expire in March instead.  Which makes sense--the Tab will still function perfectly well on WiFi without a contract.  But now the surprise is ruined, and, while he's not upset, it is sort of a bummer for him because they're the only gifts he got us that were surprises.  I flat-out bullshat our boy, told him the phones are for his father and me, and that he'll get his father's old phone.  So at least he can be surprised a little, right?

Also, hubby got me the 2012 White House Ornament.  William Howard Taft and the first motorized transportation at the White House.  It's a lovely ornament that I had decided not to get because I didn't want to drop the cash.  Turns out you can get a discount by buying bulk, and a bunch of his coworkers went in with him for a bunch of them.  It's gorgeous!

2012 White House Ornament--flip it over, and you see Mrs. Taft!

Anyway, back to the home front.  The new, stronger lice concoction didn't work, just like I knew it wouldn't.  Just like I tried to tell the doc's office it wouldn't.  Found  a live one on my boy two days post-treatment. None on me yet.  We're lice-combing (isn't that a county in Pennsylvania?) and nit-picking every other day.  And that's almost certainly the way we're going to wind up getting rid of them.  I'm also baking our heads with the blow dryer, which is supposed to be helpful.  Considering getting a bonnet-type dryer, which isn't as effective as a hand-held, but is also a lot easier on the shoulders and back.  Yeah, long-term investment in lice treatment.  Sounds like I've resigned myself to this, doesn't it?

I've been really good on the diet, though I'm planning to screw up today.  Had yogurt and granola for breakfast, and I'm about to demolish some mac-a-chee for lunch.  But I feel in control, like I've managed to flip that switch back on.  Today, I have mac-a-chee, tomorrow back to it without feeling bad about today.  Past four days have been under 1500 calories (with Monday only 1180), so I'm feeling positive. 

We headed out to the Bull Run Festival of Lights last night.  It was very nice, and the difference between it and the similar display they hold in Willard, Utah was clear.  The Utah display has a lot of cowboys and old west themes, whereas the only horse we spotted at the Bull Run Festival was part of a fox hunting party.  Overall, the Bull Run was better, though the Willard will always have a special place in my heart. 

Speaking of Christmas, I ordered 30 custom Christmas cards this year, and used every last one of them.  If I've forgotten anyone, I guess I'll have to drag out one of the old cards from last year.  Guess next year we'll order 40, huh?