Saturday, March 16, 2013

Ben Affleck and Microsoft Eurobloat

So, the phone just rang.  Started with that "beep" that screams "international call!"  And then the long pause and the beeps that make it clear someone is mass-calling.  Oh, and I forgot to mention--the number showing on the caller ID?  000-000-0000.  And the "name?"  "V03161815420009."


So, after saying, "Hello?  Hello?" a few times, I get someone.  A very heavily accented, very Indian someone.  The conversation?

Goes something like this:

"Hello, Ma'am, my name is George, and I am calling from technical support for ALL WINDOWS COMPUTERS."

ALL Windows computers?  Really?  Every one of them?

I didn't let him get any further into his idiot spiel. In fact, I cut him off abruptly, cried (nearly shouted, in fact),  "Oh, no you are not--shut the f*ck up!"

BS is bad enough when it comes across my Facebook feed or into my email box.  On my home phone?

Zero tolerance.

Here, read this from Microsoft

And this, which details this sort of scam.


I don't know if I've gone into this before, but I was in a wowser car accident back in 1993.  Facial fractures and spinal issues aside, I suffered a whopper of a closed-head injury.  A traumatic brain injury, if you will.  A lot of things about me are different now.  One biggie?

My inability to grab onto words or remember certain names.  Some words, like "hammock," I have to work sideways toward--you know, "cassock, hassock, hummock, hammock?"  Seriously.  Because I've just written it, it'll stick fresh for a little while, but when I try again in a few hours, it'll be gone and I'll have to sidle into it again.  One thing that has made this bearable?  Doing it aloud.  Because it's comical, it amuses me, and whether it amuses or befuddles folks around me, their response is funny to me.  The other night?  We were in Wegmans and I couldn't come up with the word "Eclair."  You know, as in "I've decided I can't afford the calories, so I'm going to skip the eclair tonight?"  Except that, instead of "eclair," I came up with "Eurobloat."  As in, "I've decided I can't afford the calories, so I'm going to skip the Eurobloat tonight."  I almost hyperventilated laughing.

As a result of constantly witnessing me in action, my son has picked up the habit--when he can't come up with a word, he'll just keep throwing out words or random syllables until he hits it.  Sometimes, the results are hilarious.  A few nights ago?  He was trying to discuss some announcement made by the Israeli government and couldn't come up with "Netanyahu."  What did come out?  "Nosferatu."  

Hey, he was close, right?  The laughter was uproarious--not because he came up with a blood-sucking vampire instead of the Israeli Prime Minister, but because it was purely unintentional, a matter of sound and syllables.


Watched "Argo" the other night.  Fabulous, really.  Yes, a few wanders from history (of course, it's a movie), but an all-around brilliant film.  I want to spend a moment talking about Ben Affleck.  Boy, but hasn't that guy grown up?  For years, I confess, I wasn't all that fond of his acting.  It seemed . . . insincere, a little cocky.  Often came with an unconvincing smirk that screamed, "LOOK, MA!  I'M ACTING!"  

Not anymore.

I noticed the change a few movies back, right around "The Company Men" (though it was hinted at in "Hollywoodland").  A maturity, a depth a--how to put this?  I no longer watch Mr. Affleck and think, "Oh, look at him act."  Instead, I find myself, two-thirds of the way through a film, thinking, "Whoa--I totally forgot that was Ben Affleck!"  Nothing endears an actor to me more than a performance so convincing I forget it's acting.

And his directing?  Well, we've known for a while he had that in him ("Gone, Baby, Gone!").  

So, if you haven't seen "Argo?"  Do so.  Seriously.  It won those fancy statues for a reason.


Having steak, green beans with almonds, baked potatoes, and grilled pineapple for dinner.  Oh, and crab-stuffed mushrooms.  Tonight, we'll make our boy's b'day cheesecake and homemade ice cream.  He wanted cheesecake.  Go figure.  We grabbed him a couple of books for his birthday.  The BIG gift is paintball, which is a LOT of money, but something he's wanted to try for years.  It's going to seem a lean year, but only because he chose what he wanted, and it was paintball.  I hope it's as fun and exciting as he wants it to be.  Love you, babe.


And now, in honor of my friend, we'll do another bad wallpaper.  Because wallpaper's just like paneling, only in a greater variety of patterns and colors (though I did find some RED paneling I'll get up here soon!).

Is that really a 70s wetbar in a closet?
Do not reprint without permission. © KAQ

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