Thursday, October 17, 2013

Krokodiles Eating Junkies and Silly Utah Names

A while back, an old pal/flame of mine who's spent years dealing with serious substance abuse issues (not to mention fidelity problems) got himself ditched from my friends list.  We hadn't been close for almost 20 years, so it was a surprise when he friended me, especially when, sometimes, he didn't seem sure who I was.  Out of the blue, he went off on some astoundingly dippy religious rant, basically telling me that my lack of belief in a deity is what causes any problems in my life, and how ashamed he is of me that I can't see that.  Other crap, all "goll" related, ending with a "truth hurts, are you ready to admit it?" type-pile.

I dumped him.  Turn it around, what if an atheist "friend" showed up on your wall and said "Hey, I know things are rough for you right now, but you deserve what you're getting because you believe in a deity.  I'm ashamed of your belief, and it's what's causing your pain.  Truth hurts?"  

Yeah.  To be "fair," Sean's always been a socially blundering fool, but this went too far.  So I dumped him.  He "apologized" via email (you know, of the "I'm sorry, but YOU" variety, with some interspersed "I've always been blunt and unthinking, it's just who I am" excuses thrown in), and I said that yeah, okay, but I still don't want you in my life anymore.  I'm tired of reading about your infidelities, your inability to maintain yet another marriage, etc.  Good luck, good bye.

Anyway, out of curiosity, I went to check up on him the other day.  To be blunt, I wanted to see if he was still alive.  He tends to relapse when things don't go his way, and he's just ended another marriage.  And what do I find?

A long, vicious rant about parents who don't vaccinate.  About how they're child abusers and morons whose children should be taken from them and raised by the state.  They should be charged with child abuse, neglect, and reckless endangerment.  And a whole host of other punishments fit for parents who fail to toe the health department line.

And all from the guy who cooked meth in his house.  With his kids present.  All from the guy who tweaked and drank and smoked weed and tooted coke and dropped acid while "rearing" his children.

Parenting on Meth

Hey, I have some pretty strong ideas about vaccinations.  In general, they're good.  That said, I think the scheduling and mode of delivery isn't the best out there--it's geared for the lowest common denominator, for parents who might drop the ball, so they try to pump as many vaccines in at a time as possible as early as possible.  I KNOW vaccine reactions are real because my son HAD one--he reacted very badly to the DTaP, which is why his subsequent vaccinations didn't include DTaP, but, instead, only DT.  Because of that reaction, we held off on the MMR until he was older, which our doctor agreed was wise.  After all, our boy was homeschooled and not likely to be exposed.  And, in fact, he wasn't.  By the age of 12, he was fully immunized.  

My point?  I GET the "anti-vaccine" crowd, I just don't agree with the conclusions they've reached based upon the research available right now.  I also GET the pro-vaccine crowd, but disagree with some of the scheduling and "lumping up" of vaccines.  What I don't get?

Is some dull-wit junkie tweaking in front of his kids while condemning folks who, out of (often misguided) concern for their children, don't vaccinate.  Seriously?

"Glass Houses" doesn't even BEGIN to cover that one.


Speaking of drugs, have you heard about "Krokodil?"  From what I can gather, it's all the rage in Russia.  A cheap, dirty version of desomorphine, this stuff leaves addicts with an average life span of less than two years from time of first use.  

Nice, huh?

Apparently, much like meth, this stuff can be cooked up at home, and there's the problem. While it does contain codeine, an opioid, it also resembles meth in the way it's become a jumble of impure and often highly toxic substances.  The high is similar to morphine, but doesn't last nearly as long.

Oh, and it rots you from the inside out.  I'm not going to post the pictures, but you can look them up easily enough.  

This stuff is now making its appearance in the States, and you've got to ask yourself--WHY?  How stupid can a person be?  There was a news story out of Chicago just the other day--three people hospitalized because of this stuff.  Two hadn't known it was Krokodil, and hey, fair enough--you're still an idiot for injecting what you thought was heroin into your veins, but compared to the third person, who KNEW it was Krokodil and did it ANYWAY?

You're bleedin' Einstein.


Speaking of stupid, self-destructive, deluded creatures who cause those around them devastation and pain?

Shutdown ended.  And those nuts are already talking about how they're going to do it all over again in January.

Vote.  Vote them out.  Vote at the primary level.  Vote in the general election.  Make sure your family votes.  Your friends.  And make sure you vote in the Republican primaries--that's where this small, loud, stupid, well-funded group of radical activists makes the difference.  That's where they do the damage.  Don't let this guy become the face of America, huh?


And I'm going to end on a variation of the "stupid baby names."  I'm going to hone in on stupid UTAH names.  Because Utah?

Is it ALL when it comes to atrocious names.  

Just this week, while researching obits/death records for my high school, I've come across the following:

  • VaLaunne
  • LaVor
  • Elihu Moroni
  • DeOrr
  • Lennis
  • LuJean
  • DerMeta
  • LaVelle
  • Coriantumr (I did NOT make that up)
  • Teancum
  • DeeWill
  • LaMonte
  • Enos
  • LeGrande
  • Nephi
  • Leahonai
  • Heber
  • LouRanne
That's not an exhaustive list, just a few favorites.  You may notice something of a trend there--the mash-up.  That's what happens when a Utah man, say, "Merl," marries a Utah woman, perhaps "Nadine."  They mash it on up, and the poor child is left with "Merldene."  

Hey, I have a mother-in-law named "ValDonnis," so it hits close to home.

Scripture aside (that would be the Nephis, the Enoses, the Coriuantumrs and Moronis), there's the "fancify it with a French-seeming prefix" naming convention.  You know, like so:

  • Jean + French=LaJeanne!
  • Orrin + French=DeOrrin!
  • Lonnie + French=VaLaunnee!
And then there's "LeGrande."  You have to ask--which came first, the French Big Mac or the Mormon guy?  Or wait, was that "Le Mac?"  Shoot, and that was funny, too!

Now, don't think that, just because there's an odd tradition of strange, LDS-themed or related names, that Utah doesn't have the flood of just plain crappy American names.  Like:

  • Chassadee (guess that's supposed to be "Chastity?")
  • "Anjelikka
  • Wyntur Reign
  • Kaydense (which is a super-unfortunate name)
  • Daemon (no kidding--I think they meant Damon, which is still stupid, but not quite so malevolent
  • Whisky Jack (like the bird, only with mug shots)
  • Breighleeanne
  • Deztinnee
  • Apathy (seriously)
  • The obligatory "ax" names--like Jaxton, Braxton, Paxton, Maxton
  • The equally obligatory "ay/ey" names--like Kaydon. Rayden, Shayden, Peyton, Layton, and Satan (okay, that last one is a Utah joke--thus far, anyway)
Watch this--the girls may be fake, but the names are spot-on:

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