Exhaust . . . ion

Right off the bat, I'm going to warn you--if you love Utah, if you find it wonderful, beautiful, amazing, perfect, or whatever, don't read any further.  Seriously.  Because what I have to say here is from the heart, but if you're a fan of the state, you're going to get your feelings hurt, you're going to get mad, and, honestly, I don't want to hear it.  You love the place?  GOOD!  You can HAVE it!  I'm glad you're happy there, because the alternative is you're miserable, and I don't want you to be miserable.  I was miserable--so I left.  See how well that worked out?  So if you're in love with the place, skip this entry, because you are sure to be offended.

*******************Begin Offensive Anti-Utah Rant*******************

                                                                               
In case you didn't know, I spent almost 40 years living in Utah.  40 really long, drawn-out, oppressive years.  Most of it in the northern part of the state (Weber and Davis Counties), some a bit farther south, in Utah County (Orem and Provo).  While I did my best to fully explore (hiking in Wasatch, Cache, and Uinta Forests, camping from north of Logan to Zion and Bryce, rock-hounding in all parts of the state), fact is, I hated it there.  I hated it because of the miserable drought most years.  I hated it because of the crap melding of politics and religion that make it near-impossible for anything but the most conservative of candidates to win.  I hated it because it was sour and grey, with Ogden coming in as the dirtiest, most sprawling carbuncle of ugly right on top.  But most of all?

I hated the air.

Northern Utah has some of the worst air in the country.  I want you to think about that.  During long stretches, it's worse than Los Angeles.  Worse than Detroit.  Worse than Phoenix.  Worse than Chicago, New York, or Washington DC.  Here, check this out:

Utah's Crappy Air

Photo Credit: The University of Utah

No, that picture isn't doctored.  And no, this isn't a recent phenomenon--my first memory of a very similar view (coming down Little Cottonwood Canyon on the way home from Snowbird) is from 1983.  Is it worse now?  Yes, as a trend, it is worsening, though there are occasionally better (and worse) patches.  Suffice to say, the air has long sucked, and continues to suck even more.  There are Utahns of a particular political bent who will actually argue, "It's because it's a basin, a bowl, this has ALWAYS happened, even when it was just Native Americans!"

Holy cow, what is that noise coming out of your face?  Are you REALLY that dull?  Have temperature inversions "always happened?"  Sure, quite likely--after all, they're a by-product of the local geology, and that hasn't changed too terribly much in the past thousand years or so.  But to argue that Native Americans also had air pollution so staggeringly bad that lung cancer, asthma, COPD, and emphysema rates were affected?  To argue that Native Americans had to stay inside their tepees, hogans, and wickiups in order to dodge the birth-defect causing, heart-attack inspiring levels of pollution?

Wow.  Because there's always got to be someone looking to push that stupidity envelope.

Sadly, Utah goes right every election. EVERY election.  Doesn't matter who the candidates are, Utah goes right.  Sure, they get the occasional "democrat" like Tim Matheson, but have you looked at his voting record?   That's no democrat, kids.  And a state that goes right AND is the home to refineries, copper giants, coal-burning power plants, traffic congestion, steel mills, and gigantic chemical plants?  You can cry out until you're blue in the face (won't take long with that air), but you will not in any way change things.  Your shouting will not save your kids (or grandkids) from breathing in that toxic swill.  Only sweeping and stringent federal action will do that, and looking at the republicans we have in office at the national level?  

Get a gas mask.  Smith and Edwards likely has a deal.

The Kennecott Smokestack near Magna--we used to call it "Orthanc."  

Had you asked me twenty years ago, I'd have told you that, by 2013, Utah's air would be markedly cleaner.  I'd have told you that the bulk of Utah's electricity would be coming from wind, solar, and water.  I'd have predicted amazing hybrid and electric cars, and the few that still ran on purely fossil fuels would have drastically improved mileage.  

Boy, wasn't I a sucker?

I was younger.  I was naive.  I completely mis-estimated the influence business, especially oil, has on our political process.  Our "representatives" are owned.  Not all of them, just enough to quash clean air and improved mileage requirements.  Just enough to make sure that oil comes out on top every time.  Just enough to subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) weaken or kill legislation that steers us away from fossil fuels and nuclear and toward wind, water, and solar.  Hey, who gets rich off sunlight and breezes?  Not the robber barons in charge now.  So those things get short shrift.  Because who cares what happens to things during our children's and grandchildren's lives?  We'll be dead then, not our problem.

Enough of that.

Well, I thought today might have the mopping and vacuuming in it, but it turns out I was wrong.  It has the reading, writing, and napping in it.  Maybe tomorrow, huh?

Here, have some bad paneling.  That's always good for a lift:

Help me out, what is that . . . recess?  Is that a shelf?  A shuttered window? 

Stupid is as Stupid is as Stupid is

So the phone rings.  I had just finished posting to Facebook that the SLC International Airport is closed because of freezing rain and frozen runways.  Who's on the phone?

It's a friend!  She wants to chat!  As she drives down the road.  PHONE IN HAND, talking about the freezing rain!  I said, "You're hands-free, right?"  No, that's not a perfect solution, but it sure beats having only ONE hand on the wheel while you have the OTHER hand clasping a phone to your face.  She said, "No, no."  I said, "So you're driving in an ICESTORM on a SHEET of BLACK ICE while holding a phone to your head--is that right?"  She said yes, but it wasn't anything to worry about.  I said, "I will talk to you later--you can call me when you get HOME."

What the hell?

Trying to write a letter to my old town's newspaper.  The Sheriff in town has decided to hop on the "nullify any federal law that involves gun control" band wagon.  You know, the band wagon NONE of them hopped on when it was a president OTHER than our black democratic President suggesting regulation (you know, like it says in the Constitution).  None of these jerks were crying for armed resistance when it was Ronald Reagan pushing the Brady Bill.  Yeah.  Anyway, trying to submit a letter to the editor and finding myself thwarted by a "no more than 250 CHARACTERS" admonition.  250 characters?  I can barely give my name and address for that!  In a nutshell, I'm just trying to say this--it's obvious these people haven't read the executive orders, because if they had, they'd know there's no great gun grab in the works, just like there wasn't back with the Brady Bill and the last AR ban.  The Office of Sheriff in this particular case is an elected one.  I can't think of a better way to whip up the mob and rake in the votes.  Perhaps that's not the Sheriff's intent.  Maybe he's just dull.  Regardless, he seems pretty bothered by the local paper taking him to task.   Because, as we know, folks screaming about the Second Amendment often forget about the First.

Ain't that always the way?

It snowed last night.  Around an inch.  Which was enough to SHUT DOWN THE SCHOOLS and allow my husband to telework from home rather than commute in.  Amazing.  Here are some Charlie in the snow shots:

Continued drama on Epinions.  Meet the new boss.

Still no word on my baby-maybe skin cancer.  No news is almost never good news.

Cold getting better in some ways, but as the crap in my head loosens up, it becomes more liquid and I wind up hacking constantly because of the run down the back of my throat.  It's my least favorite part of a respiratory infection.  Makes me cough until my ribs hurt.

Did I post about the new keyboard?  The crappy, uber-cheap one with the dysfunctional shift key?  Took it back last night, dropped $80.00 (!!!) on a nicer one.  And holy cow, is it nicer!  The keys light up when your fingers get close, so no desperate hunt and peck with one-handed typing.  The set-up is correct this time (keys are where they should be), AND it's wireless.  But unlike the wireless ones with batteries needing replacing, this one also comes with a USB cord for recharging.  Says it'll need recharging every ten days or so, and can still be used WHILE plugged in.  I'm very happy with it.  Thrilled, in fact!  It's a Logitech K800, if you're in the market.  Here's what it looks like--remember, it lights up when your fingers get close!

Waxing Political and Religious

Oh, I know, run away, right?

I came across a story this morning while perusing the online news sources.  All about the Catholic Church and how it's dropped over a million bucks to fight "gay marriage." 

Over one million dollars.

I couldn't help but ask myself, what else could the Catholic Church do with one million dollars?  Let's see, shall we?

For one million dollars (we'll forget about the over-a-million leftovers), the Catholic Church could:

*Fund the construction of approximately 20 Habitat for Humanity homes in Charleston, South Carolina. 

*Provide approximately 333,333 public school lunches.

*Pay for around 1,000 adults to transition from illiteracy to literacy and obtain a GED.

*Fully cover tuition, fees, and most books for fifty students obtaining a four year degree at Weber State University in Utah.

*Fill ten thousand cavities (that's including exam and x-ray with 1-2 surfaces, mercury amalgam).

The list goes on, but you get the point.  Instead of doing something worthwhile that actually makes a difference for Americans, the Catholic Church instead is dedicating millions toward interfering with the private lives of others.  You could call it "attempting to legislate their faith."  This from the same folks who've spent years sheltering child molesters.  Golly, yes, that's EXACTLY who should be playing arbiters of morality for America.

Okay, there's that rant over.  And now here's this, because politics doesn't have to be enraging: 

Eye of the Sparrow

Enjoy, and happy Thursday!

Free Association

This and that, this and that. My heart's being a punk, what else is new? Rode the recumbent for 40 minutes anyway. Even though doing so scares the daylights out of me, I don't think it makes much of a difference. If I die, I'll die naked, sprawled out on the floor next to my fancy-assed murder machine. Jim Fixx indeed.

I feel so wrong lately. Edgy, nervous, sad. I buy myself one new outfit in three years, and I feel guilty for it. No, don't look around me for the answer. It's not there. It's inside me. In that thwacking, idiot heart of mine. The words "I don't deserve it" actually passed my lips. What the hell is that all about?

I want. I want a tablet-geegaw. You know, something to fiddle with while I ride the recumbent that may slay me. I use my cell phone, but the display is small and my eyes are worsening. Makes for a whopper headache. Now all I have to do is figure out how to justify a 300 dollar toy when I can't find it in me to feel I deserve new clothes. Dunno.

Planned Parenthood wants to feature me in some advertising thing. Not going to be easy, considering I'm a photo-phobe with one decent outfit that hasn't arrived yet and may not fit. Blah. Seems there's pressure from all sides, doesn't it? Shut up, PP, stop stressing me. I gave you a photo, I gave you my words, you can't have any more of me. I know, that makes me a selfish pile of something, but you know, I can't. That's all. I can barely make my way to a dinner party without collapsing from sheer nervousness. Don't ask me to go on national television. Not happening.

Thinking maybe working out when the heart's messing up does make a difference. Hate this, so sick of it. Seems to get a little worse every month, a little more intense, a little longer lasting, a little less time between bouts. Not good.

I wonder how much the current political climate has to do with my heart being such a disaster? I'm stressed and angry all the time. So tired of rude, stupid people who don't care about other human beings. Who think poor people deserve it, that women should be chaste until marriage, and then stay home playing baby-making machine. People who glorify oppressive, occupying governments and vilify entire races based on the desperate actions of a few. People who think that the answer to all our problems is smacking immigrants and cutting funding to aid programs.

Oh, and the environmental causes. Let's not forget to slash the programs meant to keep our air and water safe and clean.

I'll proof-read this later. I don't feel like it right now. I need out of this state, out of this mindset, and maybe, just maybe, out of this world. No, not like that.