God's Great Plan

I don't usually blog too intensely about matters of faith.  I'm an atheist, but my lack of faith doesn't define me any more than anyone else's abundance of faith defines them.  It's part of who I am, but not ALL of who I am.  However, for the past few days (since November 6th, strangely), I've seen Facebook post after miserable Facebook post going on and on about how awful it is that President Obama was re-elected, how they will pray to their God to guide and save them, and you know what?

I want to scream.  Not because of their faith, but because of the utter disingenuousness of it all.

It is disingenuous, right?  Because if it's not, then they're just plain stupid.

You see, these same people have splattered my wall for years with talk of "God's Plan."  You know, "God has a plan for you" and "I know it seems scary now, but don't worry--it's all part of God's plan!"

Hey, kids?  Has it occurred that maybe--just maybe--President Obama being re-elected is all a part of that grand scheme, too?  Seriously, if your deity has some wowser, eternal plan based upon his knowledge of all, past and future, then he has ALWAYS known that President Obama was going to serve two turns, and he MEANT for that to happen. 

Go ahead.  Tell me your deity didn't foresee this.  Tell me it's a surprise.  Tell me he's angry, shocked, and devastated by the way America voted. 

Hmm.

Also, to the 14 year olds who petitioned the White House for secession on behalf of Texas and Louisiana?  Obviously, you'll have to put that up to a popular vote--you can't just condemn all in your state to the consequences of your stupidity.  But should you manage to make it fly?  Bye!  Don't let the international border hit you in the ass on the way out!  Oh, and don't forget to turn in your library card.

And dismantle those federal installations and return all the materials.

And kiss all your active and reserve military personnel goodbye.

And cough up all those federal dollars you've just accepted for highways, health and human services, education, welfare, Medicare and Medicaid, FAA (air traffic controllers?  Not on OUR dime, buddy!), TSA (terrorists in the airport?  Good luck with that, kids!), fuel subsidies, transportation subsidies, corporate subsidies, and federal benefits for Veteran's hospitals. 

Oh, and when that next Katrina or Rita hits?  Sink.  When that next salmonella or e coli outbreak sweeps through your food supplies because you've no access to USDA inspections?  Stock up on Pepto.  And when that Mexican drug war sweeps across that border that is no longer served by the Border Patrol?  Duck!  Safe drugs and protection from bogus medical claims?  Make your own FDA--ours is taken. 

And the kicker?  No wingnut will EVER threaten our White House again without Texas' electoral votes. 

Hey, I don't want to give anyone the idea that I would WANT Texas and Louisiana to swim that river and become the new South of the Border.  Not at all.  But if they do choose to hit the road, Jack?

Worse things could happen.

Four More Years!

Oh, my heart!  Waiting for hours, watching as the tide seemed to be against our President!  Being so sure that Tim Kaine wasn't going to make it!  We took an hour's break to watch an episode of Deadwood, and when we came back, George Allen was conceding to Tim!  What happened?

WE happened!

Prince William County/NOVA really came through for Mr. Kaine (and for our President!).  I can't begin to describe how incredibly exciting that is for me--after years in Utah, where, let's face it, my vote in national races was nothing more than a way of earning my "bitching rights," suddenly my vote MEANS something.  It is influential, it counts.  It's amazing, it's heady. 

The lines here in Northern Virginia were so long they wound up having to extend voting past 11 pm.  When we went out to get our celebratory/sadness foods (we didn't know which it would be), the line at the local polling place was even longer than it had been at 6 am (an hour-and-a-half), 3 pm (closer to two hours), and 6 pm (around three hours).  Amazing.  I am so proud to live here, so amazed by the turnout.

Oh, and the food?  Well, let's just say I was up sick for most of the night--too many Popeye's fries, a Whopper with cheese, and wowser brownies with Ghirardelli chocolate chips (but we forgot the walnuts!).  That was enough to have my gut in total rebellion all night.  Well, all morning--didn't even go to bed until almost four.  And that wasn't ALL the food!  I was too full to eat any jalapeno poppers or chocolate satin (Satan, lol) pie.  Guess we'll have those tonight!

I am not overjoyed by the results of this election.  See, we still have the same obstructionist, petty house to deal with--the same guys who made it their lives' work to impede in any way they could.  My hope is that, since there's now no vow to "make Obama a one-term president," perhaps they'll hang up that hateful crap and do something constructive for Americans instead of serving their corporate bosses and acting on their mean, racist agenda.  Hopefully, their spitefulness won't lead them to intentionally trigger those idiotic budget cuts.  Just because we got our President and retained our Senate doesn't mean that the idiocy of the past two years won't continue.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried.

Yes, that was very political of me.  I've had to swallow four years of their "impede at every opportunity, then blame the President for not making progress" garbage.  The racist innuendo, the flat-out lies.  I'm tired, and I don't want to listen to that garbage anymore.

Speaking of garbage, I have, for the past year-plus, been hiding my posts from a large number (over 150) of my Facebook "friends" in order to shield their delicate sensibilities from my political speech.  I have also refrained from arguing with anyone whose wall posts (posts to THEIR wall) come across my news feed.  It just seems right to me that my wall is for me, your wall is for you.  This was a one-way street, as people were happy to jump in and argue with me on my wall.  Well, last night, I broke my self-imposed limitation--some dimwitted asshat had posted a picture of our President in black face with watermelon and fried chicken, with the White House in the background and some awful, racially stereotypical words along the bottom.  I lost it--I called him a racist and I dropped him.  It felt good.

Really good.

So good, that the nasty woman (a mutual friend) who commented with something about our "future being much DARKER now" is also off my friends list.  And that felt so good that I realize it's time to be done.  Done with the selectively hiding things from this person or that so they don't get offended.  You know what, all my Facebook "friends" know I'm an atheist, but they don't hesitate to smear my news feed with their religion.  They know I'm very liberal, but they spray their wing-nutty, teabag crap all over my news feed.  And I LET them, without challenge or argument, because it's their wall, they get to do that.  But dammit, so do *I*.  So I think it's time to do some major housecleaning.  Knock, oh, 150+ people off my friends list. 

I think it's going to feel incredible.

My sister called last night, after Ohio was projected, but before Virginia was called.  She made some crack about how Virginia had sold out the President, and I was so afraid that was, in fact, the case.  But we didn't.  No, as the numbers came in through the night, it became clear that WE gave our President the great state of Virginia.  Yeah.  We BUILT that!

Totally off topic, I tore out the tomatoes today and unhooked the hoses.  Yeah, a little late after the hard freeze, but no harm done.  It's almost winter.  I hope we get some real snow this year. 

Psalm 109:8

Or Bible as Bludgeon--How to Cheapen a Faith and use Scripture to Attack Political Rivals

A couple of days ago, I got a little blurb in my Facebook feed from a friend. A woman I’ve never met, but have known for years online. An intelligent, kind, compassionate friend I’ve always had the utmost respect for, even though our political and religious ideologies (if you can call mine that—I don’t HAVE a religion) are a million miles apart.

As always, I was happy to see her on my wall—until I read what she had to say.

You’ve probably already seen it. Hopefully, like me, you’ve seen it for what it is. Stupid, sneaky hate.

That’s right. My friend smacked me with the hate-mongering “A Prayer for Obama: Psalm 109.8” rubbish, which is cropping up on t-shirts, truckers hats, bumper stickers, and other classy modes of communication. For those not in the know, Psalm 109.8 reads thusly:

Let his days be few; and let another take his office

Okay. That’s not nice, but it’s not particularly bad, right? It’s just the cheesy politicizing of one’s faith in order to take a jab at a politician. Cheap and dull, but not bad . . . or is it?

As folks are so often complaining about things being taken “out of context,” let’s take a good look at that particular Biblical verse in context. Let’s take a look at it with its neighboring verses intact:

When he shall be judged, let him be condemned: and let his prayer become sin.

Let his days be few; and let another take his office.

Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.

Niiiiice.

Now, I’m willing to give some of these Psalm-shouters the benefit of the doubt—maybe they’re just stupid and have latched onto this catchphrase without being aware that it is pulled directly from a chapter dedicated to wishing torture, death, and damnation on an adversary. Maybe they don’t actually understand what it is they’re wearing/waving/typing. Fair enough. But what about those others? The ones like my Bible-studying, church-going, scripture-comprehending friend? Can we let them slide by on the ignorance defense, too?

I don’t think so. I think that, when they type/wave/shout this, they know exactly what they’re saying. And I think they’re amused by their own inherently dishonest cleverness. Why? Because, if called to the carpet on their bad behavior, they can argue, “Nooo, I just meant that one itty, bitty verse, completely divorced of its real meaning or context!” If that’s really the case, then they’ve just cheapened their faith by picking and choosing, using their holy doctrine as a cheesy little quote-generating stick with which to poke a politician. If it’s not the case, then they’ve just vomited up a deathwish for our President via King James.

Regardless of their real intent (and who can really know what that is?), the sad fact is that they’re adding to the piss in the pool. You know, Karma—if we all scatter rose petals, then we all get to swim in sweet water. But all it takes is one Psalm-spouting, Obama-hating, scripture-swinging git peeing in the pool to foul it all up for everyone.

If you’re reading this and YOU’RE one of these Psalmers, ask yourself why you would do something this dirty with what is supposed to be the inspired word of your God. Why would you use your supposed faith as a political tool or a cheap whoopee cushion? And then ask how you would respond, were someone to cut up your holy scriptures in search of pithy quotes to use against YOU. Ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself when finding the answers. And then remember that forgiveness rarely comes without sincere remorse.

Oh, and my friend? I’m ready to forgive you.