Monday, January 14, 2013

Sandy Hook and Stupid People

So, this garbage comes skittering across my Facebook newsfeed yesterday.  A story about how Sandy Hook was staged by President Obama in order to inspire a gigantic gun grab by our government.  I'd hoped that the person posting it had done so to show just how stupid some Americans (and a few Irish, I'm told) can be.

Sadly, that wasn't the case.  In fact, it was a case of "Oh, my GOSH, has anyone researched this?  Is this TRUE?"

I went to school with the Cottle and Parker families.  I attended the same high school as little Emilie Parker's parents, and I attended at the same time as her aunts and uncles.  They are not actors.  They are not employees of the United States Government, pretending, for pay or otherwise, to be bereaved parents for the purpose of inspiring a gigantic gun grab by Obama and his evil henchmen.

Holy cow, seriously?  Is there anyone out there THAT crazy?  Anyone out there so stupid and out of touch that their first thought upon witnessing a slaughter like this is to say "It's a plot, it's a CONSPIRACY by that FASCIST COMMIE (the words are interchangeable in the nutjob crowd) to steal our guns!"

If you're that stupid, that crazy, you're EXACTLY who shouldn't have guns.  Seriously.

Be reasonable.  Be smart.  Understand that the Cottle and Parker families aren't sleepers, hanging out in Ogden, Utah for decades, blending in, pretending to be regular, decent folks.  They haven't been passing as "normal," waiting for the call from the evil feds to put on their mourning clothes and turn on the waterworks in their REAL avocation as super-secret actors and actresses in some grand, gun-grabbing production.

Are you familiar with the concept of Occam's Razor?  Sometimes called the Principle of Parsimony?  You might know it better as KISS, or "Keep It Simple, Stupid?"  In a nutshell, it tells us that, all things being equal, the simplest, least twisty explanation tends to be the correct one.  Which is more likely?  Which makes more sense?  That one deranged, screwed up kid who had access to weapons he never should have had access to went nuts and blasted apart a classroom, or that a great, complicated, covert plan has been in place for years, involving men and women pretending to be parents and families for the purpose of pulling one over on us all so that our President can take away our guns?

If you went with the latter, get thee to a shrink.  Quickly.

Here's a story from my old home's local newspaper.  That would be the newspaper published in the same town the Cottles and Parkers are from.  The town that's home to the high school we all attended:

Conspiracy theories claim Newtown shootings were a hoax

For goodness' sake.  Have a brain, huh?  I know most of you do, but if you buy into this crap, what's wrong with you?  The little girl wasn't magically alive again days later--that was her little sister!  The attack wasn't announced days in advance, that's just how the web organizes news stories after a few days!  Come on!

Come on.

Read this.  And then read this

And then cry.  Hurt for these people.  And stop trying to turn it into something crazy and idiotic that makes you mad instead of sad.  Stop trying to make it something fake so you don't have to deal with the reality of 20 little children blown to bits.  Stop clinging to lies and wild fantasies and face reality.  This wasn't a sham, it wasn't an act, it wasn't some grand conspiracy.

It was murder.  And your stupid, near-schizophrenic delusions may make you feel better, but they make the rest of us want to PUKE.

I was going to include a photo of sweet Emilie or handsome Noah, but that doesn't seem appropriate somehow.  If you're one of the conspiracy kooks, YOU should go find pictures of them.  And look.  Hard.

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