I'm RICH!

My son and I like to read SPAM/SCAM mails.  In fact, we enjoy it so much I've kept an old junk email address just for that purpose.  It's an old AOL address from back in the mid-nineties, and I make no effort to clean it up.  Why would I?  It's a well of entertainment!

Yesterday, we received the following email--a shining example of the species:




I AM IN YOUR NEAREST AIRPORT WITH YOUR (FUNDS) WHERE ARE YOU NOW?


From MR. HILARY WAYNE offfilesofffffffffff@yahoo.cnhide details

To undisclosed recipients: ; undisclosed recipients: ;

LEEWING TRADING COMPANY LIMITED



GOOD DAY I AM DIPLOMAT MR. HILARY WAYNE.



HOW IS EVERYTHING AND YOUR FAMILY IS NOW OVER A MONTH THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH U.S.A CUSTOMS WHERE I WAS ARRESTED THAT I DO NOT HAVE A DELIVERY CLEARANCE PAPER AT WASHINGTON DC U.S.A BUT I THANK GOD THAT THEY HAVE RELEASED ME TODAY WITH YOUR PACKAGE WORTH THE SUM OF $2.5MILLION U.S.A DORLLARS BUT THEY NEVER KNOW THAT IT CONTENTS LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY.



SO IT IS THIS MORNING THAT THEY RELEASED ME WITH YOUR FUNDS.YOU ADVICE TO RECONFIRM TO ME YOUR DETAILS YOU KNOW I LOST THEM DURING WHEN I WAS DRAGING YOUR PACKAGE WITH SOME IMMIGRATION OFFICER HERE.



AND AGAIN YOU HAVE TO PAY THE SUM OF $95.00 FOR AIR WAY BILL PAPERS THEY SAID THAT IF I DID NOT HAVE IT THAT I WILL NOT ENTER FLIGHT TO YOUR OR TAXI SO SEND THE FEES TO BENIN REPUBLIC WHERE I CAN FROM THEY WILL GET THE AIR WAY BILL ASAP AND FORWARD TO ME HERE AND IT WILL NOT TAKE MORE THAN 4/HRS OR 5/HRS I WILL GET TO YOUR HOME ONCE YOU SEND THE FEES.



HERE IS THE INFORMATION TO SEND IT.



RECEIVERS NAME ........AUSTIN MMORAH.

COUNTRY .......BENIN REPUBLIC .

CITY COTONOU .

AMOUNT $95.00

TXQ HOW LONG.

ANSWER 5 HRS DELIVERY.

SENDERS NAME

MTCN........
PLEASE CALL MY DIRECTOR DHL DELIVERY COMPANY NOW NAME MR

PETER PALMER // NO +229-99 15 28 45.
(peterpalmer477@yahoo.co.uk)
PLEASE IT IS THIS MORNING THAT THEY HAVE RELEASED ME AND I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE ANY MORE LONG HERE AND I WILL DELIVER YOUR FUNDS IN 5 HRS TIME ONCE YOU SEND THE FEES TO THE MAN IN CHARGE.DO THAT FAST SO THAT THEY CAN NOT LOOK OVER THIS PACKAGE TO KNOW THE CONTENTS,



THANKS

DIPLOMATIC AGENT

MR. HILARY WAYNE

EMAILS:(dip



hilarywayne432@yahoo.com)



Here is a screen shot so you can see JUST how fancy and "official" looking this email was:


With fancy graphics and layout like that, it MUST be legit, huh?



I don't read this to my boy just for entertainment's sake (though that's certainly a good enough reason).  No, I read them so he can learn to spot bullshit, so he can recognize the language of the scam.  My family is full of people who just don't see it.  I get calls from my Mom, asking if I think this letter from the "Auto Warranty Department" or that call claiming to have "important credit card interest adjustment information" is legitimate.  I get messages from other family members asking why their Facebook has been hijacked or what they should do about the email demanding payment for a fine they don't recall incurring.  In other words, there seems to be some strange "hoax me, please" disease going on in my family, and I use these emails to inoculate my boy.  Even more, these mails have spurred much research on countries like Benin, Nigeria, DRC, and others.  We read about economies, culture, life expectancy, common diseases, and educational attainment. 

 

That's a lot of learning to be inspired by crappy SPAM, huh?

 

 

On another, less happy (but still wildly manipulative) note, I tangled this morning just slightly with an actor I really admire.  Online, of course.  Facebook.  I "met" him years ago on a Google "alt" groups forum.  He was quite supportive and kind when my Aunt was battling lung cancer.  Well, today he posted a "meme" that I found terrifically sanctimonious, ridiculing, and pissy.  It wasn't in keeping with what I have come to expect from him.  It wasn't mean, but I felt it was misguided, just a little self-satisfied, and unfair.  In a nutshell, he held up a picture of a starving child as a dig at those who are saying they're bummed about Hostess going under.  I have to say, I am sick of hearing folks tell us all that we're shallow or need to reassess our priorities just because THEY don't like what WE focus on in a given moment.  Come on, folks!   If we're going to hold starving kids up as the standard, pretty much EVERYTHING we worry about or complain about pales in comparison, including "fiscal cliffs," skin cancer, and broken down cars.  But fact is, I don't have to be made to feel guilty over missing my Muscadines this year--my heart is SO big that I can sympathize with the suffering of that child AND feel sad about my missing grapes.  In fact, I can feel sad about an INFINITE number of things (or at least as many things as my brain can accommodate) without short-shrifting even one of them.  It's unfair to hint that, because I might be sad about the demise of an American Icon (and Hostess is that, regardless of nutritional value), because I might be bummed about my car (or my tax bill, or my lost cell phone, or my weight), I'm somehow shallow or in need of a morality check.  In fact, not only is it unfair, but there's something a bit low and cheap about using a picture of a starving child to poke at or ridicule people whose concerns you think are trivial.  No, I don't think my actor "friend" is cheap or low, but I think he made a bad call here.  I think he decided that the whole Hostess thing was unimportant, and from there he took it upon himself to "educate" folks about what they should and shouldn't find important.  Like I said, I'm getting tired of being told that my concerns are trivial in the face of whatever.  My concerns are my concerns, and who cares if you or anyone else thinks they're important?  Who made you, me, or anyone else the arbiter of what does and doesn't matter?  There's always going to be something someone thinks is more important than blah.  Always. 

 

And for the record?  I'm not one of those Twinkie folks.  Sure, I think it's a sort of "end of an era" thing (Hostess is, after all, good or bad, an American icon), and my heart goes out to those workers (who, before anyone starts blaming them, made concession after concession on pay and benefits over the past 8 years while their higher-ups bankrupted the company twice), and yeah, I do think it's a bit of a bummer.  Do I think it's sadder than a starving child?  No, and I'll bet no one else feels that way, either.  Ridiculous to suggest they do.

 

On a lighter note, we did pick up a box each of Twinkies, Ho Hos, and Ding Dongs three days ago (when I caught wind of the impending collapse).  Silly us, we didn't stock up and then sell them on eBay.  No, we ate them (not all at once, and yes, I watched how many I had--only two Twinkies out of the whole box).  See, we hadn't had Twinkies in years, and our boy had never had a Ho Ho or a Ding Dong.  What awful parents we are, that he's been so denied (that's a joke--we don't keep things like that in the house for a reason).

 

Our boy, with an already-empty box of Twinkies

Off our boy goes to Hapkido this morning.  Once again, it took almost an hour to get him to wake up and get ready.  "Get ready" means get dressed.  That's all.  He is absolutely his daddy's boy, and I do love him so--slowness and all!